I am full of burrito and curiosity
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
