I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
