and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
