Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
