I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just found puke in my bra..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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