Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
