I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
