I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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