All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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