Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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