I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
