You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
