Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
