I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
