in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
