I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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