What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
