i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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