The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
