I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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