Do vagina's smell?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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