so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
