Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
