I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
