Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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