I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
