The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
