U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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