Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize