ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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