Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
