I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
