I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
