were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize