these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
