Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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