ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
