she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
