i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
