Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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