we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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