sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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