Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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