her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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