it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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