If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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