I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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