The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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