I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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