Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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