there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who youβre talking about.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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