i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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