Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
