Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
