i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
