He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
