I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need a beard to bite.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
