I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
