remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You are the jesus of drinking
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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