So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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