i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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