I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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