I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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