no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
