im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
