Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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