my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
