Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize