Im at strip club and am horny
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
