i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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