Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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