we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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