The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
