Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
