The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
