smell my finger.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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