I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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