life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
