dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
