Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize