I'm lost and stupid without you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
