My Higher Power is John Stamos
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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